Kaltoran food

Kaltoran food is the cooking of Kaltora, a country we invented so that we could invent a cuisine. The country isn't real. The food is. It's served at a counter in Fremantle, at the back of the DADAA Building on Adelaide Street.

The style is street food. Warm, fresh, wrapped so you can take it with you, and quick to get, because the slow cooking is finished before we open. It's the food of a port, made for people who've just stepped off a boat and want something in their hands.

Behind that there's a longer story: five regions, four seasonal feasts, a set of table manners, and the dish we expect to be known for. That's what this page is for.

In the story, Kaltora runs from snowy mountains in the south to a warm coast in the north, and each part cooks differently. What they share is the rule that the food reaches the stranger first.

Frostback Peaks

Cold country, so breakfast is the meal nobody skips. The mountain wardens bake bread in the embers of the hearth, the kind that keeps all winter, and they have a saying to go with it: warm feet, warmer welcome.

Sapphire Coast

Fish, cooked in one shared pot and passed around until it's empty. The coast does its sweets with burnt honey, and considers the mountain people's sweets a bit plain.

Valoran Plains

Wheat, olives and goats. That means bread, yoghurt and cheese, which is most of what a Kaltoran pantry holds. Once a year the Plains lay the Long Table, the harvest feast set end to end down the old market road, and the whole district eats at one sitting.

Port Tariko

The big trading city, and where the street food comes from. Ships arrive full of cold, hungry people, and the town worked out a long time ago that you feed them before you ask them anything. Carts on the wharf, food handed over warm, and business done afterwards over a pot of tea.

Mount Kaltor

You visit the mountain rather than climb it, in the local phrase. There's a guest book at the top and something hot kept warm beside it. The black on the flag is the mountain's stone.

The rest of the country, the King, the flag and the currency, is on the Kaltora page.

The food is simple. The rules around it are where the country lives. In the story, these are the ones everyone grows up knowing, and they're the ones we run the café by.

• Feed first, ask questions later. The national motto. Food arrives before the conversation does.
• One extra place at every table. Set for whoever hasn't arrived yet. It's never taken away.
• Dessert before lunch. Protected by Royal Decree No. 331. The Crown declines to police pudding.
• The cook eats last. And gets the bottom of the pot, which is held to be the best part.
• Apologise to the chair. Knock one, say sorry to it. Ordinary good manners.
• Don't eat with your hat on. The Kaltori way of saying you're in a hurry, or rude. The food is quick so that you don't have to be.
• Give it the pot. Any argument that can be settled over tea, is. The ones that can't are settled over chess.

Three words worth having at the counter: Eta bena! means eat well, Meru! is thanks, and Salu! is cheers. There's a short guide on the Learn Kaltori page.

Nothing in Kaltoran food is rare. Bread, slow-cooked meat, yoghurt and cheese from the goats, fish on the coast, honey, tea. The cuisine is in how it's cooked and how it's handed over, not in anything you'd have to import.

The slow part happens before we open. What's left when you order is passing it across the counter warm. Everything is wrapped, closed, and sturdy enough to walk down Adelaide Street with, and you're welcome to sit down with it instead.

If you need to know exactly what's in something, ask at the counter or call 0439 999 409. All items may contain traces of allergens.

The dish we expect to be known for

Kaldo's Island Chicken. A fusion of Indian butter chicken and Thai red chicken with a Mediterranean twist, served with rice. It's on the menu in two sizes, and in most of the meal deals.

Kaldo's is where Kaltoran food is served. As far as we know, it's the only place. We're at the rear of the DADAA Building, 92 Adelaide Street, Fremantle. The door is around the back, next to Clancy's Fish Pub, and the Fremantle Markets are a short walk.

Breakfast from 7:30am on weekdays and 10am on weekends. Lunch until we close at 2:30pm. The coffee runs the whole time.